First and foremost, I wish you a very happy new year. I wish you health and happiness, love and fortune and, most of all, hope.
Feel loved, feel happy, and feel good about yourself. Go, flaunt that list of books you have read, share the movies you watched, post those travel pics of yours and the life recaps, make that resolution (well, again), dance your way into the new year or sleep your way into it, arrive gracefully waltzing or embarrassingly tripping, in your senses or completely sloshed, be loud or quiet, take in the morning sun or bathe in the moonlight, cherish the moment with your loved ones or savour your solitude. Do whatever the hell you want, whatever brings you happiness. Be upbeat, be unapologetic! Don’t let anyone shame you into something or dampen your spirits. Live in exhilaration. Don’t let self-proclaimed pundits of something and everything take your little childish joys away. For those who are battling through the trials of life and couldn’t care less for the celebrations, the pledges and the promises, sending your way my prayers and love—hold on!
As for me, this has always been the time when I stop and take a step back to see and reflect on where I am coming from and where I am headed to. When I was in school, this moment of reflection would invariably be after the short post-exam vacation in March, at the start of every new class term, when I would be bursting with energy and excitement. Though back then, there wasn’t really much to reflect on, only to reminisce and be absolutely thrilled over a fresh start and a clean slate—new classroom, new teachers, old friends in the new classroom, new textbooks, new stationery and, if parents agreed, then possibly a new schoolbag. Now, the same feeling marks the start of the new calendar year for me. Bright and beautiful, a time to reset and reboot, a life full of possibilities. And before someone starts with ‘But the earth goes round…’ Yes, that’s news to me, genius!
This note below is deeply personal, as I speak to myself. And because I speak to myself, chances are, I might also be speaking to you, in the hope that these words find you in your hour of need.
“This is not to console, not to cheer you up, not to give hope, nor to motivate you. This is to put things in perspective as they stand. You have done your share of waiting. You have held your nerves, kept your head low and worked incredibly hard, day after day, running into weeks and months and years, away from all spotlight—from all eyes and any encouragement. Anything of substance is created in solitude, with a clarity of purpose, when a pure heart and an intent mind are aligned. And what you have built is beyond any skill or art form. You have built yourself a character to last a lifetime. When everything around you fell apart, you found in yourself the courage to keep showing up, with a smile on your face, dressing up the pain in your eyes, with a settling calm about you. When nothing seemed to move, you willed yourself on. This fortitude is in itself a success. Through all the slights and humiliations, you carried yourself forward with grace. You remained resolute in the face of adversities. Big adversities and small people did not make you bitter. You remained kind.
You took life’s beatings with a quiet determination. Consider these trophy bruises an addition to your colour palette, your range of emotions, which you can dip into later. Don’t let them go to waste.
You lost some faith and instead found belief. Yes, you lost a few friends along the way. But if a building-up phase was what was required for you to lose them, then so be it. It is good to shed the excess weight—of expectations and people—and travel light. You built walls around yourself. But those few who cared enough found their way to you—through these very walls, around them or over them. The rest will again find you and choose you in their time of need. Keep this distinction between the constants and the crowd. The lines blur when the times are good.
I know you are almost spent. But don’t give up now, don’t give in, don’t let up. The set pieces are all about to fall into place. The life you have wanted is just around the corner. So congratulations, you have arrived! Everything that follows from here on out—the accomplishments and the accolades—has already happened. You ensured the outcome, and the world would just go through its motions in the run-up to the moment.”
Reminders for myself:
- Prioritise your health: this is what has kept you sane and helped you sustain for the long haul. An unhealthy you is of no use to the others and a burden upon your loved ones. Eat healthy, nutritious food, exercise regularly and be well rested. Don’t let someone else’s lack of routine ruin yours.
- Protect your peace at all costs: don’t compromise on that with others. Do what you love—see the sun rise, go for early morning jogs, do yoga, read books and write freely—make no exceptions.
- Don’t be where you don’t want to be: Avoid gatherings which don’t nourish you, definitely if they drain you. You are under no obligation to anyone. Be with your tribe. Surround yourself more with people who share your values, moral fibre and work ethic.
- Don’t extend help if it has not been asked of you: Help and people are a complicated relationship. If you offer it without being sought, some may take it as an affront, while with others you run the risk of being taken for granted—you signal your forever availability, and that too, for free. Put a value on your time and effort.
- Seek help: even your individual life is a team sport. Let more people in and be a collective success. There’s a kind of strength in showing vulnerability, in asking for help. You do not have to be/cannot be good at everything.
- Beep beep! Don’t offer unsolicited advice: there’s no need to appear sagely. You have a tendency to pitch in with advice for your loved ones. If the person has not sought your advice, they’re probably not there yet. Let them level up. Advice works only when there’s self-actualisation. (Given that I have now decided to share the post, this feels like the mother of ironies.)
- Observe and learn: you now have an empty cup, or rather, life has emptied your cup for you. Make use of this mindspace. Speak less, take more in. Be eager to learn – in all the facets of life. Be forever curious.
- Let people go: people have different priorities in life. Paths diverge, and people fall behind or fade away. Life is a long journey, and travel companions are bound to change. Don’t fret over it. Hold on to memories, cherish them, but let people go.
- Cut the anchors: There are people who would knowingly or unknowingly hold you back and drag you down. Not everyone is your responsibility; cut the anchors.
- Break patterns: Identify problematic patterns in your behaviour and unhealthy habits and make little tweaks.
- Take your time: don’t be rushed into anything because of the others. Everyone has their own interests—protect your own. As long as you are being sincere, trust your judgement. Go slow. You will still arrive, and the world will still stay in its place.
With this, I also fulfil my promise of coming out from under my burrow and writing something other than my book, which has kept me occupied for the better part of these last two years. But more on that later. For now, looking forward to following my heart—to interesting times and immersive experiences.
Somesh | Katyayan 